WHY SIDE SHOWS BLOSSOM MORE THAN MARRIAGE

How you ever wondered why your side show seems to flourish  and make you happy as compared to your marriage?

The reason is very simple. We put more effort on our side shows as compared to our marriage.

Once we get married we assume that we have conquered all and we stop to put any more effort. We take our partners for granted and we eventually stop to care.


Lets take for example


If you have a side show you would call them every morning and several times during the day just to find out how they are doing. Or sometimes just to tell them sweet nothings. This person will definitely feel very special and in return will reciprocate.
Once you marry your partner the calls stop. Don't you think that this person feels empty? Neglected?


Every so often you buy your sideshow a gift just to make them happy. Give them money for hair or any other item with a smile. Take them out just because they are down. (Without complaining). With your partner when they ask for anything the first thing you do is grumble then say no. When was the last time you took your partner out? Dated them? Did something for them just because? Made them feel special?


Every time you see your side show you complement them. You say something nice and so on. Your partner is human and also needs to hear the same.Oh how it would make them feel special if you told them that you appreciate anything about them.


You apologise to your side show so that they don't leave. You have never apolgised to your partner even when you know that you are wrong.


Marriage can be a lot easier if we put just a little effort. Treated our partners with respect and love. Forgive just a little more; tolerate just some more. Looked the other way sometimes, shouted a lot less, complemented more.


Just because you are married doesn't mean that you cannot continue to date and make your partner feel special.


Try this out : All that effort and time spent on your side show apply it to your partner and see if it makes a difference. Be strong especially if your partner is skeptical at first. Eventually they should warm up.


Just saying!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Where some men go wrong?

Am currently reading a book on personalities. We all know the different personalities Melancholic, Sanguine, Choleric, Phlegmatic.



What struck me the most was the choleric personality. (Maybe because am not one). 
They believe that complements, tears and showing approval are a sign of weakness. What??????????????? 

Let us extrapolate this to a relationship.

These kind of men do not see the need to complement their wives, girlfriends, partners. Are they serious? I am a woman I thrive on complements. I want to be told how beautiful I am, how good I look. I already know that I am all that and a bag of chips ( I have a mirror and all ) but it would not hurt to be told the same(especially if it comes from a man. A Man that I love). It is actually an ego booster.


These men believe that if they critise they will encourage their partner to work harder and become better. They could not be more wrong. What the criticism does is that it drives the partner away. Slow makes the partner feel very empty.


Most partners of such men tend to be emotionally unfulfilled and they will strive to look for the satisfaction elsewhere. Hmmmmmmh!


And it goes without say once a woman give herself away emotionally their is no holding back on anything else.


The saddest part with these men is that tears don't move them. I am a woman it is what we do. We shout, through tantrums and cry.


Such men are emotionally batterers. (They may not even be aware that they are doing this.)


If such men learn the value of complements and giving approval they will have one of the most successful relationship ever.

For them it means that they need to hold back every time they want to speak. This way they will soften their words. They also need to consciously complement. I know it will start of very mechanically but with time and practice it becomes a habit. They even learn to appreciate and see the good in people.

The above thoughts are applicable in all facets of life of a choleric.

From a christian perspective if you are filled with the fruits of the holy spirit then it becomes easy.

Still understanding her

Have you ever wondered why the not so handsome guy gets to keep the very beautiful girl? The handsome guy has put little on no effort to get the girl and because of this he also puts little or no effort in the relationship and so cannot keep the girl. The rich guy has bought her all that money can buy and gives her emotionally empty so she goes out to search for love. 

These women then land with the not so handsome guy with little or no money and is extremely satisfied.

This guy know that he has nothing material to offer and so takes his time to understand the woman to ensure that he can keep her.

This is what he does

• He always offers a shoulder to cry on. Once she is done talking all he says is everything is going to be OK and she immediately feels better. Most women do not want solutions they just need to vent. This woman will keep running back to this man.
• He always complements her. Makes her very special for the moment they are together. For that moment he makes her feel very very very special
• He always find softer ways to give her feedback. He will never put her down. Example Sweetie I want to cut my hair. He knows that it is a horrible idea. He will not say that. His response Babie if you cut your hair i will miss the way you look when .......... The next day she will come in that hairstyle and he will complement her.Crisis averted
• He is there for her with all her ideas. He is the kind of guy who will have his arms open when she fails and reassure her that next time it will work. Or better yet he will run ahead of her and ensure that all is well there

In short he treats her very well and it costs him nothing.

In return he gets all her love and dedication no matter what.

Understanding her

It is said that a woman is the most complicated being but you will be surprised how easy it is to understand her. It is quite interesting you know. Just take your time and you will be surprised.