The discussion was on communication in marriage.
The lady went on to say that communication is made up of 3 things
- Talking
- Listening
- Understanding
In a marriage setting couples need to learn to talk to each other and NOT at each other. ( I guess it applies in all forms of relationship).
Talking to each other is about listening and understanding. It involves giving the other a chance to articulate they views and respecting their opinion.
Obviously talking at each other involves the shouting.
When couples learn to communicate their is freedom of speech and one is free to express their feelings without being shot down or brushed off.
She mentioned several ways that couples can keep communication channels open
- Find a common interest that can allow you to spend time together. Common goals is what builds the bond of friendship.
- Be interested in what the other person is interested in or is passionate about. Most men would be interested in sports. The woman in this case can try to be interested in the particular sport. Just try and understand what it is all about. I am not saying be a guru. With passion the other party will endeavour to enlighten you about what is going on. An interested is then created because we are interested in learning more about the other individual. In this case you would be doing something out of love for the other person.
- Making time to communicate is quite essential. we all have a busy schedule which comes with lots of worry. It is therefore necessary to make time to speak to the other person. Say GOOD MORNING, GOOD EVENING, HOW WAS YOUR DAY? Those few minutes could help especially if someone has had a bad day. The occasionally call or text during the day will actually go a along way.
As women we view intimacy differently from MEN. Women spell intimacy as T.A.L.K while men spell the intimacy as S.E.X.
If you let a woman express and treat how words with respect (no matter how blonde they are) she will thrive and freely give herself off to a man. Most women live in a fantasy world, allow her to express herself for the growth of the relationship. Also be genuinely interested. When you ignore a woman she will tend to close up.
It is not obvious to most women about this S.E.X concept and men. I can not endeavour to explain. All i can say is that it is good for the growth of the relationship for a man to get his sexual needs meet.
In a marriage the couple needs to learn each others needs. Quite simply put husbands should actively talk to their wives while women should stop having headaches and they should give themselves off to their husbands. Let this be mutual.
Some of the biggest mistakes that are made occur when a couple has a misunderstanding. Some of the common mistakes are
- Shouting at each other instead of talking to each other
- Insulting the other person
- Putting the other person down by hitting on their flaws
- Expecting all issues to be resolved in one sitting
- NIL-BY-MOUTH. This by far is the worst ever. The first time the couple will not talk for a day, this then turns into a week then a month then two months. Eventually the couple become house mates who share bills. The damage this does is that it severe the communication channel and an i-don't-care attitude is developed.
After any argument agree to disagree but do not ignore each other.
In conclusion
Husbands don't ignore your wives and expect them to respond to your touch the next time you approach her. This is not a switch effect. There needs to be constant talking for her to feel loved. Remember as a woman she spells intimacy as T.A.L.K.
Wives don't withhold sex and expect your husband to listen to you the next time you want to talk. Remember men spell intimacy as S.E.X.
Once couples create a balance on communication and meeting each other intimacy needs (TALK-WOMAN and SEX-MAN) then the couple is on the right track to a happy & successful marriage.