Sunday, 25 September 2011

Where some men go wrong?

Am currently reading a book on personalities. We all know the different personalities Melancholic, Sanguine, Choleric, Phlegmatic.



What struck me the most was the choleric personality. (Maybe because am not one). 

They believe that complements, tears and showing approval are a sign of weakness. What??????????????? 

Let us extrapolate this to a relationship.

These kind of men do not see the need to complement their wives, girlfriends, partners. Are they serious? I am a woman I thrive on complements. I want to be told how beautiful I am, how good I look. I already know that I am all that and a bag of chips ( I have a mirror and all ) but it would not hurt to be told the same(especially if it comes from a man. A Man that I love). It is actually an ego booster.


These men believe that if they critise they will encourage their partner to work harder and become better. They could not be more wrong. What the criticism does is that it drives the partner away. Slow makes the partner feel very empty.


Most partners of such men tend to be emotionally unfulfilled and they will strive to look for the satisfaction elsewhere. Hmmmmmmh!


And it goes without say once a woman give herself away emotionally their is no holding back on anything else.


The saddest part with these men is that tears don't move them. I am a woman it is what we do. We shout, through tantrums and cry.


Such men are emotionally batterers. (They may not even be aware that they are doing this.)


If such men learn the value of complements and giving approval they will have one of the most successful relationship ever.

For them it means that they need to hold back every time they want to speak. This way they will soften their words. They also need to consciously complement. I know it will start of very mechanically but with time and practice it becomes a habit. They even learn to appreciate and see the good in people.

The above thoughts are applicable in all facets of life of a choleric.

From a christian perspective if you are filled with the fruits of the holy spirit then it becomes easy.













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